what the fuck gordon, what the fuck?
why is a person with a car more important than a person with a bike.
where are my kids going to live
what do you mean i should nurse the baby in the bathroom?
Complaining is for whiners
don’t get me started

I have to get up way too early
People don’t know how to right hand signal on their bikes.
I cannot buy beer or wine in the grocery store
there is a crow who thinks it’s okay to bring a half eaten wiener into my room.
Hst! Hst! Hst! Hst!
hst increases taxes and my wages stay the same
I’d like to loudly complain
about MLAs who give themselves big raises
if you want to cut then roll back your salaries first.

my complaint is all the complainers
nobody seems truly happy
i also don’t like:
plant theft
the lack of good venues
main street hipsters
“vintage” clothes that were truly butt-ugly the first time around
homelessness, crappy SRO’s, and rich NIMBY jerks
kitsilano body beautiful
AND that at joe’s grill
a slice of tomato on your grilled cheese
costs as much as a slice of bacon or ham

don’t get me started….;-)
don’t get me started
don’t get me started
don’t get me started

The Olympics made everyone crazy (go Canada go Canada go Canada go)
White subtitles make me crazy (guh cucucu guh cucucu guh cucucu guh)
My husband drums ALL THE TIME it drives me crazy
sometimes people think it’s fine
to leave their used condoms in our garden.
It’s not fine.

people on the bus try to get up on you
the smell of urine mixed with perfume on the bus.
on the bus no one talks to me
the number 20
the number 20
the #20 bus is the most useless bus in the universe.
The schedule is a farce, a farce
just start walking, you will get there faster
in the bitter cold it will drive right past you
then it stops two blocks from where you got on and stays there till your brain explodes.

Granville Street! Granville Street! I HATE Granville Street! What did they do to Granville Street? Bring back Granville Street!
Granville Street! Granville Street! I HATE Granville Street! What did they do to Granville Street? Bring back Granville Street!
Granville Street! Granville Street! I HATE Granville Street! What did they do to Granville Street? Bring back Granville Street!
Who thought dead tree’s were a good idea?!
Drunk jocks on Granville Street!
Bring back the greasy haired punks, the pot smokers!
The homeless Thunderdome kids!
It’s an apocalypse!

I am a 37 yr old woman. I have had two hundred and ninety periods.
Two hundred and ninety periods
I call BULLSHIT!
BULLSHIT!!!

I can’t stand 30 days of rain
I got into grad school but I cannot get a loan!
I will never be able to afford a house in vancouver
I will never be able to afford a house in vancouver
Cheap housing means living with rats, fraying wires,
and a furnace that could blow at any time.
In all my travels,
I have never come across a people
who whine more about money than Canadians

Don’t get me started
Don’t get me started
Don’t get me started
Don’t get me started (repeat this chorus under the next verse)
One of my biggest complaints is how noisy restaurants are.
You can’t have a quiet conversation anywhere it seems.
I blame the young people.
And the open concept kitchen
I just started a kitchen job… there is so much waste!
My parents lived for months in caves in Sicily during the war
Really, you couldn’t finish that one leaf of lettuce?

we have nanotechnology but veggie bacon tastes terrible. Why?
In a city with so much rain, people can’t learn umbrella etiquette? Why? Stephen Harper- his clothes just don’t fit Why?
Traffic calming doesn’t make me calm at all
Traffic calming doesn’t make me calm at all
Traffic calming doesn’t make me calm at all

my feet are cold
it is too bright.
my eyes feel too large.
those huge baby strollers.
cell phones should be waterproof
and the aggressive mothers
raccoons living in the roof
I love Monday Night Martinis
but I hate Tuesday mornings
Cyclists go the wrong way on the seawall
I can barely see the mountains
Women wearing Lululemon
Not enough women wearing Lululemon
Women wearing Lululemon
Not enough women wearing Lululemon
all bathrooms should have coatracks. No one wants to put their jackets on the floor!
happy planet my ass, mr. Robertson!!!

I really have nothing to complain about really.
You ever seen the video of the guy with no arms or legs
from Australia
who can surf.
He is so damn positive
and if he can be then I will always try as well.
Although I’m sure there is something he complains about
proper nouns should not be allowed in scrabble.